To say I'm excited would be an understatement. I had never thought that at eighteen I would be living on my own in a another country--maybe in Canada or Mexico, but never in another continent. Now, in two weeks I'll make the move to a city more than 5,000 miles away from my hometown.
A frightening thing--besides the obvious distance and figuring out how to live on my own--is the language barrier. I once took French lessons when I was in eight grade (more than five years ago!) and all I really remember is how to say hello, how are you? and for some odd reason the kid's song Alouette--I partly blame the catchy target commercial for this. I'm hoping these next couple of weeks studying with Rosetta stone might be of some help.
Another fear of course, is my lack of television and Netflix service--how am I supposed to live without an infinite amount of movies and television series at my disposal? What will I do without watching Weeds or The Catherine Tate Show?
I'm taking the advice everyone I've shared these "fears" with have had for me: it's not as big as you're making it out to be. Of course the language barrier will be difficult and at times you'll feel helpless but there's no better place to learn a language than the country where it originated. The distance? Well there's telephones, there's Skype, there's Facetime. The distance now is really determined by you and how much you place between yourself and those you love.
All the conversations I've had regarding the move always end with the same idea: make the best out of it. Just like those lines of dialogue Yoga Jones had in Orange is the New Black: Try to look at your experience here as a mandala. Work hard to make something as meaningful and beautiful as you can and when you're done, pack it in and know it was all temporary. That's all it is, temporary. With the fears and hopes I will take with me I have to make something beautiful.
This ongoing countdown has lend itself to hours of thinking of all I want to accomplish while in Paris.
I've made a list of seven things I want to do while in France--some are so cliche but all I've seen people do in movies and television shows while being in Paris I also want to do:
- eat some Ladurée macarons--I've never had macarons and since deciding to move to Paris I vowed to not eat any unless I get them from Ladurée
- visit Les Deux Magots--Sartre, Camus, Picasso, Joyce all were known to frequent the cafe, and of course my favorite actress Anna Karina was discovered there
- visit the Eiffel Tower--this really goes without an explanation
- get lost. As strange as it might sound I want to get lost in Paris, wander the streets, visit tiny cafes, have conversations with strangers I might never see again, visit parks, ride the metro as far as my money'll take me. I just want to really breathe in the city.
- walk all along the Champs-Élysées--of course I might cry a bit from not being able to afford anything from Louis Vuitton or Gerlain but it'll be worth it.
- go to a local show-- I'm a sucker for live music and for French music. Despite not speaking the language I can't count all the hours I've spent listening to the likes of Francoise Hardy and Serge Gainsbourg. I want to go see a performance and spend hours with songs which I don't know the lyrics to stuck in my head
- Explore and learn--as one of my high school advisors said, always continue learning because the moment you stop learning is also the moment you stop growing.
I've thought a lot about what this move will mean these past few months--no school and no job really lends itself to thinking--and I've come to one conclusion. Whether I have fears or not, these will all gradually fade and in time I'll become accustomed to living in Paris.
My head's already there. It's only fifteen more days until all of me arrives.
My head's already there. It's only fifteen more days until all of me arrives.
